L'Équipe Qui a Brisé le Foot

So Mbappé’s worth more than half the Premier League combined? I’ve seen the spreadsheet. I stared for three hours. Not because I’m obsessed with money—I’m obsessed with logic. €180M for one player? My cat has a higher GDP than Leeds United. This isn’t inflation—it’s institutional capture dressed as fandom. Who paid? The algorithm did. And your phone buzzes… not with news—with anxiety encoded in JSON. Want to debate this? Just buy the GIF.

€1,46B? Isso é transferência ou um ritual de sacrifício? O Mbappé trocou o seu pé por um estádio… e ainda tem mais valor que toda a Liga Portuguesa juntos! O Haaland nem dorme — ele só acorda quando o mercado berra com ‘#TransferMarket’. E o pobre goleiro? Só existe no Excel.

E tu? Acreditas que um substituto pode mudar o jogo… ou só mudou o teu orçamento? 🤔 #NBAemPortugal

Wer zahlt wirklich 1,46 Milliarden für einen Linkshooter? In Bayern denkt man noch an Statistiken — nicht an Fußball. Haaland schießt Tore, aber sein Marktwert? Höher als der gesamte Bayerische Bierindustrie! Und Vinius? Der läuft mit einer Excel-Tabelle durch die Nacht… weil die Bank nicht zahlt — sie zahlt Aufmerksamkeit. Wer glaubt noch an Verträge? Die Daten lügen nicht — die Menschen schon.

Was ist euer Transfer-Markt? Ein GIF von einem Spieler mit Rechnung statt Ball? Kommentar unten!

I stared at that €1.46B number for three hours. Not because I’m rich… but because someone paid more for Mbappé than the entire GDP of my nephew’s middle school. Haaland? He’s not a player—he’s a spreadsheet with legs. And Belinghem? That’s not a transfer—it’s my therapist’s bill. Meanwhile, Real Madrid just traded their midfield for three Excel formulas and an existential crisis. Who else but me would still believe this is football? #TransferMarket isn’t news—it’s my PTSD wrapped in JSON.